Anyone who's spent any time reading this blog knows that I have an unfortunate tendency to get ahead of myself.  For example, during the past few weeks I've been working on the first post in a series I plan on doing on deservedly ignored filmmakers, but it's been held up by a suddenly busy work schedule and my inability to finish watching the last of the five relevant films.  Now this can be forgiven, but what can't is that the main reason I haven't finished watching that last film is because I've become obsessed with watching the films of the second filmmaker I plan on writing about. 

That's right, folks--I can't finish my first post because I'm too busy working on the second.  'Tis my curse.

Anyhoo, while I was hard at work enjoying the "films" of my second subject, I found myself once again subjected to the terrible irony that tears at the heart and wallet of every man, woman and child who has ever been bit by the collecting bug. 

Y'see, my second subject--SPOILER!--is none other than Mr. Boobs, Bullets and Brawn himself, Andy Sidaris.  Renowned among those with severe life deficits as a man who never met a fake rack or helicopter he wouldn't put in front of a movie camera, I have--obviously--seen all but two of the films that make up his filmography.  The second, Seven, I feel I can ignore, since based on what I 've read it's the Fast Company and/or Blacksnake of his career--a film so out of touch with the rest of his canon it need not be mentioned.  But the first film, on the other hand, I HAVE to see!

 

But unfortunately, Stacey! has yet to be released to DVD and the only copy available on Amazon is a used VHS tape going for $69.95 US.  Now as the guy who paid about that much (inc. shipping and handling) for a used VHS copy of Hospital Massacre, I am not foreign to this outrageous foolishness, but what rankles me in this case is that I remember back when I was a kid this was one of those tapes that I could find on sale for $4.99 in EVERY entertainment section I loitered in while my parents browsed their way through the much-less-interesting parts of any department store.  At that time it would have been harder NOT to find a copy of Stacey! to enjoy, but not knowing what it was it never occurred to me that I should buy a copy in anticipation of a day when it would be so rare I would actually contemplate paying more than 10x it's original cost to get my hands on it.

Every collector understands this pain as they think back to when the object of their desire was in easy, affordable reach but had yet to become important enough to them to grab at.  Adding insult to injury is the callous cruelty of the dealers who exploit our desires by charging such outrageous prices.  You know that copy of Hospital Massacre I overpaid for?  The guy who sold it to me couldn't even be bothered to remove the $2.99 sale sticker stuck to the plastic video store rental box it came in.

More than anything else, that irrefutable sign of my own sucker-age is what's keeping me from buying that used copy of Stacey! from Amazon, but then I watch the trailer one more time and my resolves weakens if only for a moment.

How long will it be before that resolve is vanquished completely?

NSFW