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Gold Medal Brick Bronson
posted Saturday, 5 May 2007
A Brief Excerpt from 1984's Brick Bronson and the Olympic Scandal by Stoney M. Badess
“They thought they could fool us with their “boycott”,” Brick sneered, “but I knew the commies wouldn’t be able to stop themselves from coming over here and causing some trouble.”
“But why would they want to kill Mary Lou Retton?” asked Tina.
“Because she represents everything that is great about our country. She is the American Dream writ large in one tiny wholesome, extremely limber package.”
“How can we stop them?”
“You’ll have to pose as a member of the American gymnastic team.”
“But I’m 5’ 8” and 145 lbs,” she protested.
“Yeah,” Brick admitted, “that might be a problem.”
“But why would they want to kill Mary Lou Retton?” asked Tina.
“Because she represents everything that is great about our country. She is the American Dream writ large in one tiny wholesome, extremely limber package.”
“How can we stop them?”
“You’ll have to pose as a member of the American gymnastic team.”
“But I’m 5’ 8” and 145 lbs,” she protested.
“Yeah,” Brick admitted, “that might be a problem.”
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