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The Power and the Booty
posted Friday, 6 May 2005
So it turned out there was a scheduling mix up and my lecture was supposed to be today and not yesterday, which was fine because my time is nothing if it isn't flexable. It went fine. I wish I had prepared more and came across as a little more eloquent, but it has been my experience that most people tend to be more forgiving about that sort of thing than I am and they appeared to enjoy it (at least they said they did and I'd hate to think that they were all a pack of big fat liar-types).
But that's not why I'm here right at this moment. Instead my mind has been focused for the past four hours on something I saw at the university LRT station. Over the years I have seen many odd sights at LRT stations, but I think this one will linger longer than most. It's a fashion related image and the only other one I can think of that comes close is the time, about a year ago, when I saw a woman dressed in a brown business suit (albeit one of the Ally McBeal look-at-my-legs miniskirt variety), with matching brown hose wearing clear plastic 8-inch platform stilettos on her feet. This sight was odd for two reasons: 1) seeing shoes normally only found in strip clubs or porno movies out about in the everyday world and 2) their being counterpointed by the relative conservatism of the rest of the outfit (yes, the skirt was short, but not fetishtically so, as the shoes would seemingly want to indicate). Suffice it to say, the stylistic triumph I saw today easily surpasses this enigmatic ensemble (because what kind of impression does one want to make by combining stripper shoes with business attire, if not a mysterious one?).
But that's not why I'm here right at this moment. Instead my mind has been focused for the past four hours on something I saw at the university LRT station. Over the years I have seen many odd sights at LRT stations, but I think this one will linger longer than most. It's a fashion related image and the only other one I can think of that comes close is the time, about a year ago, when I saw a woman dressed in a brown business suit (albeit one of the Ally McBeal look-at-my-legs miniskirt variety), with matching brown hose wearing clear plastic 8-inch platform stilettos on her feet. This sight was odd for two reasons: 1) seeing shoes normally only found in strip clubs or porno movies out about in the everyday world and 2) their being counterpointed by the relative conservatism of the rest of the outfit (yes, the skirt was short, but not fetishtically so, as the shoes would seemingly want to indicate). Suffice it to say, the stylistic triumph I saw today easily surpasses this enigmatic ensemble (because what kind of impression does one want to make by combining stripper shoes with business attire, if not a mysterious one?).
Thanks to years spent watching music videos, I am well versed in the concept of the hotpant--those tight short-shorts that are not meant to leave anything to the imagination--but despite having seen them so often in the right kind of hip-hop musical montage, I realized I have never seen them worn up close in the full light of day. I am sure I have spotted them in the far away glare of a crowded beach or in the dark confines of a sweaty club, but not once can I recall previously encountering a pair in my common reality. Until today that is. What is more, I did not catch sight of them from afar, but rather as they moved directly in front of me on the train stations escalator, where they hovered magically only a foot from my face.
My reaction upon first seeing them was twofold; first I was shocked and then I was happier than I have ever been walking up an escalator in the entirety of my short life. For it is one thing to see a pair of hotpants up close, but it is distinctly another when they are being worn by someone for whom this unforgiving and intimately revealing article of clothing was obviously invented. At once it was plain to see why this woman would be so brazen as to wear such tight and revealing shorts in public; because she could. This article would take a much different slant if this had not been the case. Too frequently one does encounter people who seem blissfully ignorent of the fact that they do not possess the physique required to pull off the outfit they have chosen for that day (for example any one larger than I am who has chosen to wear a midrif-exposing top), but in this instance this was not the case. Somehow I managed to pull my eyes away from this sight to see what else this ultra-confident young woman was wearing and saw that her legs were covered to just below the knee by white athletic socks and cowboy boots, while her torso was dressed in a shirt that matched her shorts and a thin brown leather jacket. Overall the impression she was conveying to the world instantly backed up my initial hip-hop music video mental connection. All that she was missing to complete the image was a heavy beat, an expression of bored sensuality and a glass of champagne to sip from in her left hand. I lack the time or the patience it would take to describe to you just how odd it felt to see someone dressed in a way I was completely familiar with thanks to years of MuchMusic, but that which I had never previously seen outside of a television screen.
And like that, she was gone. She chose to go up the other set of escalators, while I chose to go up the more cardio-intensive, but slightly faster, old-fashioned non-moving stairway. I will admit there was an impulse to follow her instead of going my usual route, but I was able to fight against this base animal urge and she disappeared out of sight. Out of sight, but not out of mind. And I highly doubt that mine was the only imagination consumed by the power of this outfit, which was, I suspect, its intention. I have little else to say to conclude this thought, beyond the fact that it does make me think about how weird it can be when the realities of television are transported into the more mundane realities of everyday life. It really is the difference between say, seeing a six foot tall, 250 lb professional wrestler on television and standing next to one on the bus. Merely by entering your immediately reality, what once seemed normal becomes much more odd.
Plus, it must be reiterated, this girl had some serious back. Ye gods, I gots to testify, that booty was magnificent.
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