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The Top Ten Most Common Modern Omens Of Your Impending Doom
posted Sunday, 25 June 2006
1. Instead of receiving 153 pieces of porno spam in your email bulk folder during the last hour, you just received 127.
2. The laces on your left shoe refuse to stay tied.
3. When the cute barista who made your vanilla bean latte flirted with you, it actually seemed like she meant it.
4. You accidentally eat a food you always thought was disgusting, only to discover that you really like it.
5. The crazy homeless guy who always shouts obscenities at people down the street gave you a friendly wink the last time you walked past him.
6. You complete a full rotation of all of the available TV stations without hitting a single commercial.
7. You're browsing in the cultural studies section of your local bookstore and an old gypsy woman spits on you.
8. You meet someone who can convincingly argue the point that Van Halen's creative peak came during the post-Hagar Gary Cherones era.
9. As an alternative to directly telling you what your ailment is, your doctor decides to compose a poem instead. As he writes it, he asks, "What rhymes with "brain tumor"?"
10. You receive a letter in the mail that informs you that you might have won a million dollars.
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